thread: The True Queen

  1. #21
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    With the first page filled (I use 20 posts per page out of nostalgia and a bit of usability), I wanted to pace things down a bit for a Fabulous Feedback Round!™

    I have 20 posts and 250 views, which means that I'm not the only one reading this. Therefore, more than one opinion about this work should exist, and as we could be nearing a major turning point, it's maybe time to ask my audience how well they can read ahead. Two further chapter names are already given in the spoilers. What do you think these chapters will be about? Will we finally get to see Code Exotic? Why did I already introduce three Adds, but none of the other characters? Will we get to see a lot of the other characters in the next two chapters? What about chapter 8? Could you already give it a name? Does chapter 8 even exist? What about chapter 9, 10...? How many chapters (or rather drafts to chapters) do you think I already have? How far has the story progressed?

    Okay, the last ones get a bit weird, but the first ones should be easier to answer. I'll wait a bit longer before uploading chapter 6 so that you can react. I hope you had fun with the last 20 posts and will also have fun with the next ones.

  2. #22
    Hamel Guardian
    Dec 2014
    Commencing the Cromwell invocation.
    3,035
    Ok, it looks like only me was willing to comment. This fanfiction thread is always silent like that, you may want to post this in fanfiction.net for more feedback.

    My feedback: well, if I haven't known your interests in CN, which you haven't even tried to conceal it at the first place, and also from the progress's direction of your story... I couldn't say I was surprised when seeing CN was the most favored in the story, and after realized that I could have guessed even the direction of the story and how it will end.

    The motif in the story, I couldn't help but recalled about a story about a girl living in a house with a dad, her haughty stepmom and two selfish stepsisters who abused and mistreated her. After that she was buffed by her godmother who could cast spells and dressed her in fine clothes and she went to the royal's ball... Yes, you guessed it right, I was reminded of Cinderella fairytale. In this case Cinderella is CN, the stepmom is Apple, the dad - Adrian Nasod, stepsisters - CEmp and CBS, fairy god mother - Q-Proto...

    Overall your story was well written and well thought, but the motifs were easy to guess, partly because you have expressed your point of view too clearly ( your hatred of Adds were expressed too clearly so ppl might have expected you to add Adds as the villains, worse still in this case they're more like generic Saturday Morning cartoon's villains) , if I haven't known your point of view for so long I could have been surprised a lot more about the story.

    You may find writing accordingly to your beliefs more satisfying to you, but the other people who have different point of view may feel that the story was somewhat one-sided. I dislike Adds too and having a so-so attitude toward Eves, I prefer CEmp, so I can still stomach your point of view.

    Of course this is just my opinion, this serves only the purpose of suggesting rather than criticizing. Hope you won't be upset by my feedback, when writing this I was not having quarrels with you and tried to be the most subjective I could be, please don't take this personally.

  3. #23
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    I don't really see these parallels the same way as you do. Maybe that was some miscommunication on my side.

    First: Apple is not their stepmom. She is a third party, assumed unknown to the three of them. We'll see how long the "unknown" aspect holds.
    Second: The two abusive mistreating sisters are more or less one abusive sister, which is Architecture. And she does that to Electra as well, whereas Electra wants contact with her sister, but is too afraid of her emotions/mood swings. There is also a lot of misinterpretation going on between them.
    Third: The god mother only provides her with basic Eve stuff, which she then passes on to her younger sister (that was when she was not yet that emotionally detached from her family). And like Architecture and Electra, she will have to do the quest herself. (I think I can spoiler that much).

    Okay, Add is kinda obvious, but I'm currently working on subverting that.

    I'd like to hear how you would have continued that. You have until Sunday if you want your ideas Jossed.

  4. #24
    Hamel Guardian
    Dec 2014
    Commencing the Cromwell invocation.
    3,035
    I don't really see these parallels the same way as you do. Maybe that was some miscommunication on my side.

    First: Apple is not their stepmom. She is a third party, assumed unknown to the three of them. We'll see how long the "unknown" aspect holds.
    Second: The two abusive mistreating sisters are more or less one abusive sister, which is Architecture. And she does that to Electra as well, whereas Electra wants contact with her sister, but is too afraid of her emotions/mood swings. There is also a lot of misinterpretation going on between them.
    Third: The god mother only provides her with basic Eve stuff, which she then passes on to her younger sister (that was when she was not yet that emotionally detached from her family). And like Architecture and Electra, she will have to do the quest herself. (I think I can spoiler that much).

    Okay, Add is kinda obvious, but I'm currently working on subverting that.

    I'd like to hear how you would have continued that. You have until Sunday if you want your ideas Jossed.
    Maybe I'm just imaginative, and overthought it? You know, you can just keep it as is, there was no such thing which determining that my idea was any better. If you're confident then keep it as it is, what if my ideas making your fanfic worse lol? Also even if it's influenced by Cinderella then it does not automatically making it worse than self-made homebrew fanfics.

    Spoiler:
    My only advise is that I think 3 Adds is too much. 3 Add is not like a threat, but like a comedy band, no one will be scared of them or take them seriously, because they're so identically that it can be confusing to distinguish each Add, and the unique color of a character is thinned because of duplication. As if LP and MM having enough noticeable traits from base Add and each other, their job change stories are all about how they acquired their weapons and nothing about personality. Ppl may argue that "Mastermind" is the good Add and the "Lunatic" guy is the evil one. But hey, who in the world using the "mastermind" to describe honest, kind people? Mastermind usually goes with criminals and evil schemers, Adam Worth was labeled "Napoleon of crime" because he was a criminal mastermind. Oh and Joker is both criminal mastermind and lunatic, insane killer.

    I think the main gag about Add is that they're suppose to be scary and all powerful, but their schemes getting foiled every time, and he himself seems not evil to the core ( like in Time Trouble), he expressed himself as scary guy because he doesn't know the basic of socializing, asmost of his life he was trapped alone in time and space. So I think it will more interesting if you use Add as a distraction villain, always coming up with a plan and carrying it out, only to be foiled time and time again because of his ignorance of the world outside and the society, awesome but impractical: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...ButImpractical

    While Add is the generic villain wannabe like Doofenschmirtz, you design your own version of villains, maybe making them competing with the Adds too, that will be more fun when the evil fights the lesser evil, if the world is easily divided between the good and bad front then it can be generic. Isn't the mainstream story in Elsword is already so dull when the Elgang members are like saints? Ppl writing fanfic to create their own story and adding more variables and colors, why we have to follow the trail of KOG, just send in the Adds and we already having the bad guys?


    Anyway, that's just my 2 cents and what I will do if I write a fanfic ( I'm thinking about a grand fanfic too but not having times to write it down), and you can just ignore it, your ideas are more important. What if I was wrong and your version was better, I shouldn't have to text it this lengthy. The importance here is if you having fun in your writing, I was only sharing what I found to be fun if I was writing, so if you don't feel like my advise then just discard it, this is not argument but only opinion, so no one wins or loses here.

  5. #25
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    Do you know what I find fun when writing fanfics? Reading my readers. (Well, that plus implementing my ideas, but you get the idea.) Whether or not you voice your ideas will not change large portions of my script. But what I found out from having my stories read by friends, is that they'd often wanted certain things to happen for the laughs, which I had already planned that way, and when they finally got to reading that line they would be surprised by how I had anticipated that. I'm just denying the Cinderella thing, because that is actually not what I wanted to convey.

    Spoiler:

    My only advise is that I think 3 Adds is too much.
    You're basically telling me to kill them.
    the unique color of a character is thinned because of duplication
    And that's somehow different with Eve? If they work together nicely, they'd really end up indistinguishable from each other. However, who'd say that they would cooperate that way ad infinitum?
    I think it will more interesting if you use Add as a distraction villain, always coming up with a plan and carrying it out, only to be foiled time and time again because of his ignorance of the world outside and the society
    Sheesh, I thought you wanted him to be less of a cartoon villain.
    you design your own version of villains
    Trust me, there will be villains.

  6. #26
    Hamel Guardian
    Dec 2014
    Commencing the Cromwell invocation.
    3,035
    Yeah I'm looking forward to read more from you.

  7. #27
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    Escape


    At Apple's testing facility, there were rooms which the test subjects could call their own. They were labelled with their machine name and supplied them with everything they needed, ranging from food to clothing, a bed and a shower, as well as a Nasod healer to deal with injuries. There were typically lots of injuries, since Apple had a lot to test and she designed her tests to be life-threatening, so that her subjects had a motivation to complete them. She usually stopped before it got too dangerous. Usually. In the case of Proto, this was not necessary, since she was talented enough to only get hurt, even if it took the whole day.
    Having visited the facility daily in secret, Eve gradually learned about each of its weaknesses and thus also a way of finding out where her mother was. That knowledge now came in handy, where she had to sneak around countless guards while not getting caught in her mission to find and save her mother.
    "Ahhh, much better now," Proto said in her chamber while getting healed. Her parts were functioning normally again, as expected.
    Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door. "Who's there?!" she shrieked.
    "It's me," Eve whispered.
    "Eve?! I told you to come earlier tomorrow, not today at night. This place is dangerous!" Proto opened the door and pulled her in before shutting the door again. "What were you thinking?"
    "I don't want to wait!" Eve complained.
    "But Eve..." Proto tried to reason.
    "Besides, father wants to break you tomorrow." She learned this shocking truth on her way home, before attending the party her sisters had celebrated. It was the reason why she felt so down and why she wanted her activities to stay secret at all cost. However, when even Adrian, who made that decision, told her to calm down, she couldn't keep quiet. She had to see her mother. She had to find a way to get her out of that facility before that would done to her.
    "Father? This facility is run by a woman."
    "I know. I overheard their conversation. He's going to make her do it."
    Proto silenced Eve by putting her hand over her mouth. "Is it really true?" she whispered. Eve nodded and Proto let her go.
    "I have recordings if you want to verify," Eve said.
    "No can do. Besides, we're likely being recorded as well." Proto's head turned towards the Nasod healer.

    "We lost the signal," Apple said staring at a screen that had recently been blanked.
    "I can see that. So, she really found out," Adrian commented what he just saw.
    "Sir, please." Apple turned towards him.
    "You're not at fault. In fact, I should probably re-educate my daughter after she's hindered you that much."
    "Sir..."
    "Apple." Adrian stared deeply into her eyes.
    "Adrian." She did the same.
    The distance between them closed as they were moving towards each other. They eventually collided, eyes on the same height, hypnotized by their own reflection within the other. Apple's eyes were the first to close and she leaned forwards for a kiss. Adrian experienced the taste of his creation's gentle lips for the first time. Sharing such an intimate moment with someone he modelled after his "daughter" felt so wrong, yet at the same time he enjoyed every second of it.
    They kept kissing for a minute, maybe even more. Even though he rejected the thought of doing so at first, Adrian decided to put his tongue into it. Likewise, Apple was using her tongue, trying to be as French as possible in a world where France did not exist. Both of them made sure to enjoy each other's taste for as long as it lasted. After they separated, Adrian was the first to comment. "Apple, you made me feel so..." His sentence could not be finished, he lacked the breath to continue. He collapsed backwards, a spear stuck in his chest. It was one made for Nasod.
    Apple spat at his face. "Keep your disgusting human fluids away from me."
    She then began her hunt for Proto.

    "Mommy? Why is your blade sticking in that Nasod?"
    "He was used to spy on us. We can't have something like that on our escape."
    Proto grabbed Eve's arm and kicked the door open. They then began running around aimlessly in search for an exit... an exit only Eve has ever seen. She couldn't lead her mother, who was in panic as guards came sent after them and just ran through the next best branches in the hallway in an attempt to keep them at distance. Their guns were all pointed towards her head, but luckily for her, they couldn't factor her speed into the equation on how and when to shoot, making the deadly laser bullets either miss or graze them.
    Proto and Eve entered a large room filled with Nasod soldiers pointing their guns towards them. Their sheer number was overwhelming. Even if several of their bullets missed, by the way their aim was spread all around their target it didn't even matter how much she was able to move in the short time it took them to pull the trigger. If all of them fired at once, the entire room could have been covered in a bullet hell.
    "Eve, go ahead. They want me, so they'll let you pass," Proto planned. Indeed, they let her exit the room safely.
    "Well, well, well. Look at what we have here. A malfunctioning prototype on a rampage."
    Apple entered the scene and the soldiers made way for her, withdrawing their weapons. "Say, where is your daughter?"
    "On her way to safety" Proto claimed. Apple found that wording funny, as if she had been accused of trying to murder anyone. Anyone except the one in front of her, that was, who she no longer wanted to put up with. "Safety? Shouldn't you be worried of your own instead?" she hinted her intentions. But just as she wanted to tell her adversary, that she would not harm Eve, a cry for help could be heard. Proto ignored Apple's warning and pushed her aside, rushing to whence her voice came.
    A Nasod Blader was just about to slice Eve in half, when he himself was stabbed. Small parts flew everywhere as Proto's spear found his way deep into the core of that weapon. "Pathetic," she insulted him as his slowly found his way to the ground, then she took a good look at Eve, making sure that she was unharmed.

    PEW.

    A laser pierced Proto's chest.
    "No, not there..." She collapsed herself. "Atomic... Shield!" A weak shield was put up around her and Eve, who immediately rushed towards her mother and held her. She had seen her chest getting pierced and was ready to cry tears. "Mommy, what's wrong?" she asked to query for the graveness of her wound, but the burnt plastic should already have made it more obvious than words could do.
    "They cut my main power supply. I'm currently running on battery and I don't have much longer," Proto explained her situation and coughed. She estimated her remaining life to be capped at few minutes maximum, since Atomic Shield drained her resources as well. "Once I'm gone, this shield will break and they'll come after you." The shield was indeed needed, as both Apple and her soldiers were already gathering on the outside. Proto took out a conventional medium for storing data and wasted even more power writing files on it. She then handed that to Eve.
    "This is all my code, as well as a README containing a special letter I wrote for you and only you. Don't compile it the way it is, there's too many errors and warnings. Analyze it first and change it so that it matches your needs. Pray, that you never have to resort to the same hacks I was forced to use."
    "Mom." Eve reluctantly accepted what she had given her, but still didn't want to see her go.
    "They will likely find a way of repairing me and make me do the same things again. I might not be your mother any more after they are done with me, or at least not act as if I were." Proto was sure that she had thus foreshadowed a future battle between her and her daughter. With how they acted ever since they saw each other, it would be no wonder if Apple decided that she wanted them to fight. Proto wanted to make sure, that Eve was safe, but with what she had done she would have to flee in order to achieve that. Flee to a place, where Apple could not reach her. And once she had found that place, Apple would make her chase her. She was too lazy to do so herself and Proto didn't think Eve's sisters would react in any way to her escape, not with how she described them. After the shield was gone, they could do as they pleased with her, so modifications were likely. "So in the last moments I can claim to be myself, Eve, I want to tell you something: I love you." Proto hugged Eve.
    "I... I love you too, mommy." They kissed each other like a mother and a daughter would. Sharing that one last kiss, Proto's battery was eventually emptied and the shield broke. Eve cried in an overly loud manner, and the soldiers began shooting at them both. She was hit. Once. Twice. Thrice. None of her wounds were lethal, but they forced her to escape. Soldiers went after her, but Apple called them back. It was not yet time to deal with her. They surrounded Proto, who – despite the shield breaking actually still had a few seconds left. She let out a single tear. "Farewell, my daughter."

    With tears Eve ran away from the facility. She kept running through the night. At dawn, she had already left the city.

  8. #28
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    Led By Their Own


    "He hasn't come back, has he?"
    Electra shook her head.
    Architecture was deeply worried about her father. Shortly after her sister left in rage the day before, he claimed to have something important to do and left as well. And this morning, the news were reporting an incident from a facility she has never heard from before. It was a wild guess, but Architecture suspected, that he had something to do with it.
    "And unfortunately for the subject, she died right afterwards."
    The news showed Proto's dead body and zoomed in on it. She had the same face as her sister. "Impossible," Architecture and Electra thought and gasped at that image. However, with time they realized that it was not their sister. Her hair was different and it was unlikely, that she could have gotten these clothes in a matter of hours. It took Oberon a whole day of shopping to get proper things for his Queen, even if Eve had made an important discovery – which she clearly had not, given that she couldn't even control herself that much at the dining table and sounded more like a five year old – she couldn't possibly have been the woman on the picture, who looked even more mature than they themselves did. That had to be a different person.
    "Can someone tell me why testing on humans is a thing?"
    Yeah, humans, right. The news were as incompetent as ever, failing to notice the core of... wait. That girl's core was still intact. Even though she had died, her core did not shatter or anything. Well, actually that was not too far-fetched. Her core breaking would clearly indicate death, but it was not the only way to die. In her case a laser cutting through her electronics would at least disable her. Since it went through such a central location, it could have damaged other essential components as well. Architecture already built human-like Nasod, she knew which organs were in that area. And as it turned out, they were quite important.
    The news went on and on, filling the background with their blabbering. "Turn that of," Architecture requested and Electra grabbed the remote to hit a button on it, making the screen blank in an instant and the sound fade.
    Security footage had also shown Eve's face. In fact, if she remembered correctly, she was besides the now dead Nasod, but these news always managed to make moving images too blurry or shaking for facial recognition. Still, that and the fact that she wasn't here, were both hints towards her helping. "I can't believe she assisted in such a horrible idea."
    "She's our sister. We also did a lot of pointless things when we were younger," Electra tried to defend her.
    "Oberon is not pointless. And your stargazing has shown its fruits as well."
    Electra couldn't deny that, but that was not the point she was trying to make. She thought that maybe her connection to this person was important. That this person could have been her "mother". Whatever she thought, Architecture did not approve of it.
    "Her idea was way more stupid than flushing the toilet twice to check whether the second time was faster."
    "You did that?" Electra asked.
    "You did not?"
    They sighed.
    "Well, she isn't going to come back either way," Architecture concluded.
    "We can still wait for dad," Electra said.
    "Like she waited for her mother?"

    With Adrian gone, the Nasod needed their new ruler NOW and Architecture was ready to take the throne. Which is exactly what she did. The method was simple, at least to her. Followers would just bow in awe, one after another, because those who had not already followed her before, were programmed to do so after one announcement. "GG, easy," she said and "GG, easy" roared the legions of Nasod following. It wouldn't take long until the Nasod were completely led by themselves, or rather Code Architecture as the Queen representing them. Just like Adrian always wanted it.

    "So... there's not only one Eve..." S concluded from her forming a new country, that now threatened both Velder and Senace, the largest kingdoms of the continent. Altera was between these countries and also happened to be where the Adds were currently located.
    "Well, three of us means three of them, right?" P asked as if the number of Eves was somehow magically linked to the number of Adds.
    "We could divide them fairly among us, so each gets a share," S hypothesized and the three of them laughed evilly.
    "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" E asked.
    "Yes, you just stole my line," S hinted.
    "Oh... sorry."
    "What are you two pondering?"
    E looked at S who looked back in return.
    "It seems to be your thing, so go," E said.
    "Instead of attacking the highly secured Eve, we shall attack the weaker versions of the others. They should not have anyone to protect them and their youth and inexperience shall be of our advantage. We will disguise ourselves as normal citizens within her nation. Then, when she holds a parade or a speech, we shall secretly follow her after the main event, until she reaches a place where surveillance is scarce. Upon her entering these insecure regions, we shall strike without mercy and capture her. And thus HER CORE!"
    "Brilliant, S!" P shouted. Apparently, they only paid attention to the news that Eve had become queen and not the news that one of them had already left the city or that Proto had died.
    "But wait, aren't literally all Nasod our enemies?" E asked. While they had their dynamos, they were also human. And legend had it, that only a few Nasod were on good terms with humans. Adrian was excluded from that as their creator, but with him no longer leading them, things would likely change. Especially if Eve reigned, who hated Add in all the timelines he had visited before.
    "Yes, that's why only one of us will do the actual stalking. The others will silently do away with everyone noticing us," Mastermind presented his master plan.
    "Like Assassin's Creed?"
    "Exactly. Now, prepare your armor, for we shall disguise ourselves as Nasod."

    Shortly after having claimed the throne, Architecture had her first visitor.
    "Greetings, Your Majesty. You may not know me, but I was a good friend of your father," a Nasod which looked a lot like herself, but who had pink hair and wore a dress introduced herself.
    "My father? Say, where is he," Architecture immediately interrupted her.
    "Sadly, I did not see him lately."
    What an odd coincidence, that this friend of her father had also not seen him "lately", which likely included the incident as well. Architecture was sceptical, but instructed her to go on.
    "My name is Apple, and – at least according to your father – I am your daughter." A lie. Adrian never told her that. She came up with this idea after having seen both the way Proto and Eve acted because they were mother and daughter and how Architecture really became Queen. She wanted to exploit her, become princess and then with the help of the prototype she still had to fix Queen.
    "My daughter? I do not recall having had intercourse with anyone," the Queen responded, hinting at how Nasod would not reproduce in such a way that parents be known to their children. In fact, Adrian's family was the sole exception to this, with himself as the father, other Nasod didn't have any need for such trees. Architecture did not trust the stranger. Her ambitions were too easy to read, conveniently showing up just at that moment.
    "You did not give birth to me, at least not directly. However, I was built with your blueprints in mind, though slightly altered."
    "Like my sisters?" If it was like that, she would have to take back her previous thoughts.
    "Your sisters and you share a specification. Mine was adapted for a different path. Also, I may not look younger, but I am certainly less experienced than your majesty in a lot of ways, perhaps also losing to your sisters as well. Seeing you as a mother, one that I can reach up to, is the more appropriate choice. Adrian thought so as well."
    While it was the same kind of relationship that Proto and Eve shared and should thus be able to work in reverse according to Apple's reasoning, Adrian approving of that was a flat lie. One that Architecture could however not confirm, because Apple knew him to be dead and buried. And with how Architecture had already built her first butler, just like Apple once did, they should have been similar enough to follow the same train of thought, at least if they had the same information available. The conclusion Apple could reach without the information she withheld was that she could very well be Eve's daughter, which happened to be the conclusion she wanted her to reach.
    While that logic made sense to her, Architecture still questioned why she had to show up at such a time and couldn't do that earlier and also why she was always referring to her father by his name. If one followed her family tree, he would be her grandfather, and thus be called differently.
    "Oh, I must apologize," Apple answered her second question. "It was on his order, that I once started using his name to address him, my configuration has not since changed."
    Architecture sighed, since that question was the less important one. Apple had already made a pause within her speech, indicating that she wouldn't go on until further asked. "You are forgiven. Go on."
    "While Adrian led the Nasod, I had my own facility. One could say he built me for the purpose of running specific tests with specific units. However, now that he is nowhere to be seen and my facility is in chaos as of a recent incident, I lost my place to be." Thus, Apple's story had been told "completely".
    "And you came to me thinking I would develop motherly feelings for such a poor girl?" Architecture asked with a passive-aggressive undertone, which already gave away that she did not.
    "I know you wouldn't. You're rational, like me."
    Even if that was meant as a compliment, the Queen did not like to have herself judged like that. "Then let it be. The word mother stirs up negative memories."
    "In me as well."
    "Then why mention it?" were Architecture's thoughts. She recalled her talking about her facility, which happened to be the one where the incident that caused her to lose her father happened. Perhaps she even knew what happened? With how the word "mother" stirred up negative emotions in her, she could as well be referring to Proto and Eve, which would mean that she knew what happened to them as well. Architecture wanted to be informed about that.
    "Were you involved in the incident?"
    "I was present, yes."
    Even better then. "Would you mind investigating it?"
    Apple sighed. "Very well, I shall do it."
    Architecture did not understand the meaning behind her sigh. She should have been grateful, that the Queen let her correct her mistakes herself. That was perhaps more trust than she deserved, but at the same time the amount of trust she should have given her if she was indeed on good terms with Adrian. "You may leave for now. Report results as soon as they are available."
    Apple bowed and left. "Thank you, mother."

    The queen sighed, her mood visibly worsened. Still, she wanted to find out what happened on that day. It was the only key to finding her father and the only hint to the whereabouts of her sister.
    Her other sister was troubled as well. She kept reading the news, which seemed to be full of that incident. Pictures of Proto everywhere, her face looking just like "her daughter's".
    "I thought there were only three."

  9. #29
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    Milk


    Meanwhile, far away from the actual plot – in the Velder capital to be exact – it was a sunny day in a town that looked as if it was stuck in the Middle Ages. The only Nasod that could be seen worked for a Travel Agency, although that Travel Agency had actually held a monopole on much more than vehicles. A young knight with hair red like a spoiler alert walked up to the robot girl and she gave him a rather peculiar item. It was a ring.
    "Ehh, that's what you asked especially me for?" the knight asked.
    "I have to keep the identity of the person who entrusted me with giving you this a secret," the Nasod said. "The CoBo service always keeps their customers satisfied."
    Ahh, yes, the infamous CoBo service. The knight remembered exactly that Nasod trying to satisfy him with other methods as well. He looked at her smiling innocently, but both of them knew what could have happened if he didn't deny her service back then. That had nothing to do with the ring, which he thought to be harmless. It did however not look like anything a human male would be comfortable wearing and even for females it seemed far-fetched. While it tried its best to appear elegant, it was very obvious that it had been made of cheap plastic. The girl in front of him was the only one who he knew would want such a thing on her finger. Did she just confess to him? That just brought him back to the situation, where he had to stop her advances last time.
    "Thank you," the knight said regardless and left.
    The Nasod girl sighed and collapsed onto her knees. "Sorry, Vanessa. I was yet again unable to do it."

    "HOLD YOUR BREATH, ELDORK!" a loud, violet haired girl yelled.
    Eldork turned around to her and corrected her by saying that his name was Elsword, not Eldork.
    "You know that you should only be wearing one ring, and that is mine!" the girl said.
    Elsword took off his glove to show that he was indeed still wearing her ring, although he did not know why she was so pressing on that. A year ago he was participant in the war against Senace, where that made sense, because he could have died and she told him that it was somehow imbued with magic, that would let her know whenever he was in danger. But since that peace has been restored and the country flourished, both in terms of politics and economy. There was no reason why he, a trained swordsman, would ever have to feel insecure. He wasn't going to wear that girl's ring, because it was not a ring for a man to wear, but had the violet haired girl not pestered him every day he would also liked to put that thing off. He couldn't tell her, of course, since she not only insisted on it that strongly, but also threatened to burn him if he ever touched it.
    "Hmph!" the girl made a sound of disapproval while walking away. Elsword sighed. At least she was busy enough to not ask him to do unnecessary side-quests again. "AND DON'T FORGET TO BUY MY MILK!"

    Elsword entered a bar full of Dark Elves, which already knew him as the douche of the year for always ordering milk. It was run by Dark Elves, because they liked the atmosphere of the night that was kept within these walls, even if it was bright day on the outside. Those who were not members of this bar's or other bar's staff were likelier to know that this was not true, since Dark Elven criminality was directly linked to their unemployment and he often did away with criminals for the sake of the law-abiding citizens. Patrolling was the only use he had now as a knight, but he would often not get to do so, since there were already more than enough who could help. If a war ever broke out and soldiers were again sent to the front, that would quickly change, but as it was in a time of piece, many of them would just train or patrol.
    "Milk again? Would you like mine this time for a change?" the bartender asked provoking him.
    "You know very well that it's not for me. Or did you ever see me drinking that thing?" Elsword asked back with exactly the same provocative undertone.
    Several Dark Elves surrounded him, whispering into his ear how he should drink their milk to become big and strong, to be able to wield an even longer sword. Day after day, Elsword asked himself, why he put up with their taunts just to keep fetching milk for a magician who drank it to increase her breast-size even if it had no effect whatsoever. The Dark Elves wanted him to give in to their temptation and say just three words, but he neither reacted to the way they talked to him nor the way they touched him. They kept going for five full minutes before the bartender gave up. "Fine, here you have some from our cows. But tomorrow, make sure you ask for adult milk."
    Elsword thanked the bartender and left, remembering her that he was still minor and thus not allowed to do so. Even if he was, it broke with his own code of honour.

    Dropping the milk at a seemingly random place – that was actually before the girl's dorm of a school which taught magic and he never, ever, dared to enter – Elsword then headed to the knight's headquarters, where he already expected yet another boring day to await him. But no, this time the blueish-turquoise haired halberd wielder was not the only one to appear at the edgy table – courtesy of the former commander Raven of the Black Crow – but the actual Raven himself was also there.
    "Raven!" Elsword shouted. "Man, where have you been?"
    "I had important business to do. Dark business." The Blade Master had lost one of his arms in war and had it replaced by a Nasod during a long and shady process. That caused him to be distrusted amongst the knights of Velder, even though he was previously seen as a hero. A few years later he finally managed to largely limit the effect the arm had on his body and found a way to think like a rational human again. It didn't take him much longer than that to put a piece of cloth over his arm and regain his old fencing abilities. That was when Vanessa decided to take him back, so that he could train the current recruits.
    "So, it was Vanessa's idea then..." Elsword looked to the blueish-turquoise haired halberd wielder who was thus hinted to be named Vanessa.
    "Indeed. So, Elsword, how was your day?"
    "I've been getting weird things from ladies all over the place lately." Indeed, the Nasod girl and the Dark Elves were not the only ones, but the most obvious ones. Then there was this female magician, who was even more crazy than the others compared. But even the blacksmith had a thing for him that day. Talk about something weird.
    "I have no idea how they all are reacting that way right now," Vanessa said. "But listen, Elsword, you are fifteen right now. If you had parents, they would already have given you to a girl, so that you can marry."
    Indeed, Elsword was one of the few lucky males, who was not bound with the chains of marriage. It would have been bad, if he had to do even more than regular milk fetching. Even Raven had a fiancée and he actually liked her before she died. But Elsword had no interest whatsoever in creating or maintaining a family. His friends were more important to him than a random woman who he could have been assigned to. He knew, that Vanessa disliked his line of reasoning – even if she herself was not willing to date any of the soldiers and had no partner herself – he knew, that he could take care of his hypothetical family while taking care of his friends, but it just didn't fit to him. Of course, Vanessa tried to at least get him to agree to political marriages, whenever there were offers, but since the war has died, so did the many princesses from Senace who secretly loved strong Velderian men. Those who did would not have went for him anyway. But then, Vanessa revealed, that she had yet another plan by showing him a photo of a silver-haired girl with amber eyes and blue marks on her cheek. "Beautiful, isn't she?"
    Like always, Elsword could not deny that she was pretty. However, he was not interested in looks.
    "She's one of three sisters, who all have that appearance. But if memory serves me, two already changed their style since this photo was taken. Now that one of them became Queen of the Nasod and we can't talk with Adrian any longer, we fear that a war with their new-found country might break out" Vanessa explained.
    "The war has already broke out," Raven said. "Our countries just haven't yet sent their troops to the front so that they could meet on the battlefield. It would take a week to get to the border, that is assuming the use of mounts. The only one's fighting are those who are currently stationed in those areas."
    So with the information both Vanessa and Raven had brought, it would mean that Elsword could fight again instead of having to deal with that kind of thing.
    Why was he thinking, that he erred?

    Having finished his patrols and other duties, having tried to keep Vanessa from sending a letter to Altera but failing at doing so, having without success asked Raven, whether he could do anything about what was going to happen, Elsword called it a day and met up with the violet haired girl he ordered the milk for.
    "You've been doing that for weeks now, Aisha, what's the purpose?"
    "It makes your boobs grow bigger," Aisha replied coldly as if it was still a reason to continue drinking it after it has been shown not to be effective. Elsword could not do anything but shake his head, even he knew how ridiculous the idea was and how it would not work at all in the way she wanted it to. Believing in such myths was apparently a girl's thing. "Massaging them should also help," she further explained. Elsword's reaction to that claim was no different to his previous one. If she knew all these tricks and applied them regularly, shouldn't they have shown some results? Not that he checked whether there were actual results, but from how she never mentioned how great they were made it seem as if there had not been any.
    "Hmph," Aisha dismissed his scepticism. "We'll see how cocky you are when they're larger than your head."
    "The only thing I see is you being jealous of Grand Archer Rena..."
    Aisha whacked Elsword with her staff and it seemed to her as if she knocked him out. She went up to him and checked his condition, but he didn't show signs of consciousness, which made her regret her decision. "When they grow... will you look at them... or will you ignore them even more?" now seemed the more appropriate question for her to ask, even if that had thus far not been the topic.
    "Your breasts don't matter to me," Elsword, who had seen and heard everything, answered without any emotions attached.
    Aisha stomped him with her feet. "You pervert, don't fake a coma!"

  10. #30
    Sander Chieftain
    Sep 2015
    At Nemmy's feet
    4,323
    Relevance


    "Glave, what are you doing?" Glave asked himself. "These people should not be in the same timeline like that. They would normally be separated by thousands of years."
    "But Glave, would the others not be separated by either space or time as well? Especially the three sisters?"
    "How is their relationship even relevant to the fate of this world, Glave?"
    "Please, Glaves, I think we're asking ourselves the wrong question here."
    "Is that so? Well then, Glave, you can surely explain why, can you?"
    "But of course, Glave."
    "Well..."
    "Oh, right. This is just one of many worlds to have these characters and the fact alone, that they are able to meet each other will change their future, or at least leave enough options to have an impact."
    "It is new that you'd care about individuals, Glave."
    "That is exactly the error in your assumption: I don't. It should be clear, that with how the situation had developed so far, the Nasod have an actual chance at winning. They wouldn't be able to meet like that."
    "Again, do they have to meet?"
    "No."
    "They will."
    "They might."
    "Unlike a certain someone, who has been recently added, they all existed for more than ten years now in this world and we never noticed them. You're overthinking this, fellow Glaves."
    "Glave is right, this world has existed for a very long time and our interference is small compared with what humans had already done to it in the past."

 

 

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